Life is what happens to you while you`re busy making other plans…( John Lennon) This is how it is in my life right now. The plan was to go and stay in Järna, a small place 1 hour south of Stockholm, bag already packed with sporty clothes, books and a lot of writing material to catch up with, visions of taking good care of myself with sleep, organically grown todd and long walks…in silence. That was the plan. While my carpenter friend was going to build a super platform in my flat. What happened is my dad in the emergency ward and he is not well at all. It has been 8 years of caring for and loving him since he had a stroke. 8 very different years. 8 years of growing up into not not just my will but what life wills. And now here I am, late at night , in the hospital listening to my fathers breath. Breath by breath. For how long still…
Grateful to this day of soft white snow
soft comforting snow
Breath by breath during the night until the early morning and then no more breath. He has left his body temple now. The body. So clearly a cloth, a garment of extremely unique beauty and perfection, like no dress in the world can compete with. The body. I miss his presence in the body. That is gone. The Love is still here and will always be. The Heart will never die. Deep love and gratitude to my dad, my family and all my friends who have been with me on this very special journey. On this first day of snow. Everything is covered in white soft snow. Temporary reality. Love and love in all it`s forms.
Under the soft white there is still green life
Min pappa finns inte längre. Kärleken till honom i mitt hjärta är enorm. Tacksamheten är enorm. Med varje minne som dyker upp blir tacksamheten större och verkligare. Saknaden är enorm. Just nu har jag inte fler ord… en vacker snöfylld dag väntar utanför på att omfamna mig.