First blog of the year. First cover on Bazaar! The story; as I stayed on in Paris when I was first discovered as a model I was living in a small guest room of a photographer by the name Herve Nabon, who was also the first one to take pictures of me. He actually took me with him from the agency when I was brought there the first time to meet them and did a job with me. That job continued for about a week, my swedish boyfriend returned to Sweden and I stayed in Paris…Herve had a lot of upperclass friends whom he introduced me to. We became a group of friends and I opened up my whole body senses to learning french since I was very eager to understand what they were talking about and to be able to participate. It took 3 months during which time I was brave and and threw back out every word that I had heard. It was a lot of fun. Going in sports cars to parents country castles, mostly in Normandie, making food together, going for long walks…sharing sweet time together. I had my boyfriend in Sweden and was faithful to him…for a long time…although I met many temptations…none of them were capturing me. The friendships were great. And the adjustment to being in a totally new life experience. There were no drugs with these friends, just good old french wine and good french food. I started eating meat then, trying everything…from having lived as a vegetarian since a long long time. I would say since childhood, but that would be a lie, in my family there was meat as well as vegetables, I just choose and loved the veggies more. All this story to say what a good start I had in France, how safe I felt and how working as a model just took off by itself, weaving in with friendships, new culture and nature. I`m a tracker by nature so I was tracking in Paris and in the countryside, on my trips to other places and everywhere. Tracking among people, sensing, finding out where they came from and what they had in common deep within. It all came very naturally as if the plan had been laid out for me, my specific life plan. And my deep interest was who we are deep within. That was always with me. And I also felt very lonely at times. It was always nature that helped me to connect back to source when I did not understand or like life of humanity…I had so many questions and so few answers from those around me. Fun yes, sweetness yes, friendship yes…but not the answers to my quest right then. The answers came bit by bit in the weave of all the experiences together. I was grateful…and I was lonely in society but happy in nature, that`s where I could fully relax and be seen as the one I am.
So that`s where I was when this happened. This cover on Bazaar was a total surprise to me. The collections were happening in Paris and every photo shoot was done at night, after the shows. It was all so extremely secret. No picture, not a word had to reach out until the next season, 6 months later, when the clothes were for sale in the shops. That is how it was then. to keep the secret and so no one could copy the latest fashion. One of these nights I was asked by my agency to go and see this photographer, Bill King, in a studio where he was shooting the collections for Harpers Bazaar. It was a big hype about me being called to see him. I was just a girl in Paris, honestly, I had no idea what it was all about or who was who and what…I just showed up and this photographer looked at me, then talked with the editors and stylists and hair team and suddenly I was sitting in a chair getting my hair done into this amazing hairdo with all pieces in and I was made up and dressed and then in front of the camera for what they said, a test shoot. It took some time and Bill told me how to pose and what to do. It was different than anything I had done before…of course…but I mean this was another level. It was far more serious and super professional somehow. After the picture was done they thanked me and I walked away. A new dimension of experience richer. Nothing was ever mentioned about this test picture until I was booked for a job in New York for Harpers Bazaar about 2-3 months later and went on my first trip to the US, there I was told the first day in the studio, that the test was chosen to be a cover that would come out within a few days. What happened before they told me is that I came into the studio wearing a long white woolen dress and no make up and they were chocked. They did not recognize the model on the picture and had to send for a raw print to show everyone what I could look like. The photographer knew since he was the same. Bill King. Working and being in NY was a totally different experience, this was tuff, they had completely different demands and were extremely professional in a way I had not known before. This was not Paris anymore. No good friendships. A lot of competition among others. I never understood this. Eventually NY turned out good as well in a different way but I was much more vulnerable there and more lonely. It was interesting though. Friendships happened slowly and walking across Brooklyn bridge at 2 in the morning, to eat an early meal in china town after and then go home with Donna Mitchell and her man Aaron Rose and listen to Carmina Burana with great sound system until 5 in the morning was great. All memories. What a memory journey I have made following my writing of this where it has taken me. Thank you to those who share it with me. And in all this SO MUCH GRATITUDE! This life could not have been planned. I could not have controlled that my life would contain these stories and multitude of experiences. It was all given to me…and so much more. So immensely much more beyond my fantasies or understanding. And all of this to maybe, hopefully, capture a little glimpse, a little taste of the immensity of all that life is about. A taste of reality. I am so hungry for more. I want to know the REAL.