woke up today earlier than earlier could be. usually the sound of rain would keep calm and just put me right back to sleep. Sleep was the vey last thing i had. Trying to remember how and what did i feel for exact a year ago. 5th of november, surely i can’t even remember if i put water on my toothbrush before putting toothpaste on it this morning, let alone what i did last tuesday. Man, i’m getting old, old in stockholm. Turning 25, 18th of december. Is life what i expected it to be? I mean, sure. My inbox is way more funnier to look at. and im making moves, more eyes are watching me. Kind eyes and malicious ones too. Im giving you both the same smile, y’all both are looking at the same selfie. consider me the modern mona lisa. But i don’t know if i’d say i expected anything of everything. I have hard time starting with what i want to finish, and i have a hard time finishing what i’ve started.
These are the struggles i deal with, my inner holy war, my jihad. Man, i just want to find tranquility, my inner peace. As hard as i might try, i can’t quite see eye to eye with it. Procrastination that is. it’s just another again and again, again and again. and a fucking again. Maybe i’m not getting old, I’m getting older. but then again i just saw night turn into morning, how can i not feel that my life is running thru my fingers?